Typically, neighbor-to-neighbor or other personal issues are resolved in a few hours. Negotiations between divorcing couples or small businesses often involve several half-day sessions, spread out over a month or two.

Many people think that mediation is an informal process, in which a friendly mediator chats with the disputants until they suddenly drop their hostilities and work together for the common good. In fact, mediation is a multi-stage process designed to get results. It is less formal than a trial or arbitration, but there are distinct stages to the mediation process. Most mediations proceed as follows:

Stage 1: Mediator's Opening Statement. After the disputants are seated at a table, the mediator introduces everyone, explains the goals and rules of the mediation, and encourages each side to work cooperatively toward a settlement.

Stage 2: Disputants' Opening Statements. Each party is invited to describe, in his or her own words, what the dispute is about and how he or she has been affected by it, and to present some general ideas about resolving it. While one person is speaking, the other is not allowed to interrupt.

Stage 3: Joint Discussion. The mediator may try to get the parties talking directly about what was said in the opening statements. This is the time to determine what issues need to be addressed.

Stage 4: Private Caucuses. The private caucus is a chance for each party to meet privately with the mediator (usually in a nearby room) to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of his or her position and new ideas for settlement. The mediator may caucus with each side just once, or several times, as needed. These private meetings are considered the guts of mediation.

Stage 5: Joint Negotiation. After caucuses, the mediator may bring the parties back together to negotiate directly.

Stage 6: Closure. This is the end of the mediation. If an agreement has been reached, the mediator may put its main provisions in writing as the parties listen. The mediator may ask each side to sign the written summary of agreement or suggest they take it to lawyers for review. If the parties want to, they can write up and sign a legally binding contract. If no agreement was reached, the mediator will review whatever progress has been made and advise everyone of their options, such as meeting again later, going to arbitration, or going to court.

Taken from www.nolo.com

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Getting the Other Side to the Mediation Table

Tips on getting a quarrelsome or unresponsive opponent to sit down and be reasonable during conflict resolution.

Mediation may sound to you like a good, sensible way to resolve a dispute, but what if you're also convinced that your opponent is not sensible and is determined to prolong the dispute or fight things out in court? The good news is that, with a little help, you can probably get even an obstinate neighbor, a quarrelsome ex-spouse, or an unresponsive business owner to mediate.

If you've been ordered into mediation by a court (many family law and small claims courts send people to mediation before allowing them in a courtroom) or because the terms of a contract require it, you probably won't have too much trouble getting the other side into the mediation room.

However, most often if you get tangled in a serious dispute there will be no court to prod you into mediation. If you want to mediate, it will be up to you to get the process started.

Unless you know for a fact that the other side is willing to mediate, expect some reluctance. If the dispute has gone very far, the other person may almost automatically oppose anything you propose. Although you may be able to break through this resistance easily, sometimes it may not look promising. What then?

The best way to coax a reluctant party to mediate is to do it indirectly. Have a mediation organization -- not you -- extend the invitation to mediate. This means your first step is to find a mediation organization that is appropriate for your dispute. (Although individuals also offer mediation services, organizations are generally more skilled at getting people to the negotiating table.) Community mediation boards are usually appropriate for neighborhood and personal disputes. You can usually find organizations in the Yellow Pages devoted to the mediation specialties of divorce and business disputes.
After you find one or two organizations, call them and explain your situation. If one of them seems to be a good choice to work with you to get the mediation started, the next step is to write a short, polite letter to the other side explaining that you want to mediate and will be contacting a mediation service. Avoid saying anything that is likely to trigger a defensive response.

Here are some suggestions:

Let the other person know that the mediation service will be calling.

Taken from www.nolo.com

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Mediation: Do You Still Need a Lawyer?

Most mediations don't require an attorney, but there are some situations in which you may want to consult a lawyer.
In most mediations, you don't need a lawyer's direct participation. People who are mediating are less likely to need an advocate because they are trying to work together to solve their problem -- not trying to convince a judge or arbitrator of their point of view. Because mediation rules are few and straightforward, people can usually handle the process on their own without too much trouble. If your case involves substantial property or legal rights, however, you may want to consult with a lawyer before the mediation to discuss the legal consequences of possible settlement terms. You may also want to make getting a lawyer's approval a condition of any agreement you make in mediation.

The Right Lawyer

If you're considering having a lawyer help you mediate, you should look for an attorney who truly supports the process. Unfortunately, many lawyers enjoy their role as advocates ("hired guns"), and find it difficult to change gears to focus on helping people work out a compromise solution.
The type of lawyer you choose also depends on whether you want the lawyer to counsel you throughout the mediation or you are only interested in an initial consultation. The lawyer's personality and attitude towards self-help law doesn't make much difference when it comes to legal advice, but it can mean a world of difference if you are mostly interested in having the lawyer coach you on a continuing basis.
If you do need a law coach, you should make it very clear from the first interview that you want to work with a lawyer who understands and supports mediation. This means a lawyer who accepts that mediation sometimes involves compromise and that what you settle for in mediation can be influenced by, but should not be determined only by, what the lawyer believes a judge or jury might give. For example, you might tell a potential lawyer that you want him or her to help you prepare for your mediation, but you don't expect him or her to come to the actual sessions. Also, you might also ask the lawyer to be available to review any written settlement agreement before you sign it.

Questions to Ask the Lawyer

In an age when many lawyers are underemployed, there is always the risk that a lawyer who wants your business will say that "of course" he or she supports mediation, when in fact the lawyer has a fairly negative attitude. To probe a little deeper, ask the following questions:

Has the lawyer ever worked with clients going through mediation? If so, what did the lawyer think of the process? Was it successful for the client? The way lawyers talk about their prior experiences in mediation often reveals whether they really support and respect the process or think it's a waste of time. For example, some lawyers who have handled a few mediated cases that did not settle may be negative about the result ("I told my client it wouldn't work, but he wouldn't listen"). Fortunately, many other lawyers come out of mediation with an understanding and respect for the process, regardless of whether a particular case settled.

Has the lawyer been trained in mediation? There are two types of "mediation training" that many lawyers take these days. One is training to be an actual mediator; the other is training in how to represent clients effectively in the course of a mediation. Both show an interest in mediation but, of the two, you should probably gravitate toward a lawyer who has taken the second type of training: It suggests a more serious professional desire to help clients through the mediation process. This is particularly true if the training to be a mediator was very limited and the lawyer didn't have to pay for it.

When you hire a lawyer to help you with a mediation, be sure you both understand clearly how fees will be computed. Don't expect any special price break because you are mediating. Most lawyers will charge you their normal hourly rate. The key is to define, in advance, when and how the lawyer will help you. For example, if the lawyer says it will take three hours to advise you on the legal aspects of your case in advance and another three hours to review and discuss any proposed written settlement, you'll know that your bill will be six times the lawyer's hourly fee, unless, of course, you call the lawyer during the mediation and ask for additional advice.

Taken from www.nolo.com

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